Madness (Blog #7)

Blog Responses

Funeral March (Blog #6)

"Radioactive"

I'm waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I'm breathing in the chemicals, I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive

I raise my flags, don my clothes
It's a revolution, I suppose
We're painted red to fit right in
Whoa

I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive

All systems go, the sun hasn't died
Deep in my bones, straight from inside

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive



If I were to die anytime soon, which I most likely will. Sad to say... I know, but I mean I'm going mad here! *maniacal giggling* But out of this madness I can see life differently. It's actually quite nice to see life from a different perspective, a new way. Also with death people must welcome a new age.

I believe that when I'm gone it will create something big, like an apocalypse. I know that my brother will just have a fit about my death, "Oh, treble woe / Fall ten times treble on that cursèd head, / Whose wicked deed thy most ingenious sense / Deprived thee of! Hold off the earth awhile / Till I have caught her once more in mine arms." (5.1.222-226). And what of my dear Hamlet? I do not know anymore how he would react... But I would hope it would be in my favor, "I loved Ophelia. Forty thousand brothers / Could not with all their quantity of love / Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her? " (5.1.247-249). Ooh, or maybe even, "'Swounds, show me what thou'lt do. / Woo’t weep? Woo’t fight? Woo’t fast? Woo’t tear /  thyself? / Woo’t drink up eisel, eat a crocodile? / I’ll do ’t. Dost thou come here to whine, / To outface me with leaping in her grave? / Be buried quick with her?—and so will I." (5.1.252-258). That would put my soul at ease. Maybe not my brothers, cause I know he would just want to tackle Hamlet to the ground if he said that. I honestly think that they would fight, because of me, which is not really good, but hey I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. So back to explaining why I want this song to play at my funeral march.

I realized I have been breathing in the chemicals that have brought me here to this madness. With my brother and father disapproving my love, "I would not, in plain terms, from this time forth, / Have you so slander any moment leisure, / As to give words or talk with the Lord Hamlet." (1.3.132-134). Hamlet saying, "I loved / you not." (3.1.121-122).Making me spy on Hamlet, "For we have closely sent for Hamlet hither, / That he, as ’twere by accident, may here / Affront Ophelia. / Her father and myself / Will so bestow ourselves that, seeing unseen," (3.1.30-34). And finally my father dying, "Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell. / I took thee for thy better. Take thy fortune. / Thou find’st to be too busy is some danger." (3.4.32-34). Denmark really is an awful place, "Denmark's a prison." (2.2.229). I really do feel like death would be the only way to escape this prison *bus*. Even though it's quite sad, it's all very true... Hamlet was right, "To be, or not to be? That is the question— / Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer / The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, / Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, / And, by opposing, end them?" (3.1.57-61) it really is the question... sometimes it really isn't worth it to keep self destructing after a while it just gets to you and the next thing you know you drown in a river, "There is a willow grows aslant a brook / That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream. / There with fantastic garlands did she come / Of crowflowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples, / That liberal shepherds give a grosser name, / But our cold maids do “dead men’s fingers” call them. / There, on the pendant boughs her coronet weeds / Clambering to hang, an envious sliver broke, / When down her weedy trophies and herself / Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide, / And mermaid-like a while they bore her up, / Which time she chanted snatches of old lauds / As one incapable of her own distress, / Or like a creature native and indued / Unto that element. But long it could not be / Till that her garments, heavy with their drink, / Pulled the poor wretch from her melodious lay / To muddy death." (4.7.162-179).

Ophelia I'm radioactive

Madness and Death (Blog #5)

I was reading in the newspaper the other day and this man, Peter Seng, wrote about me! Yeah, weird right... Of course I would read on, because it's about me, and I was kind of surprised. I mean I guess I can understand why he says things like, "Ophelia's appearance on her entrance confirms what the audience has already heard about her, that she is mentally deranged..." (Seng, 217). I'm not going to deny that I might be a tad bit crazy. "She is importunate, / 
Indeed distract. Her mood will needs be pitied." (4.5.2). But I mean I was only persistent because I really needed to talk to her, it was important. However, I honestly think he is being a little too harsh... Not to be rude or anything... It's not like he wrote about me or anything, oh wait, he did! If you're going to write about someone, maybe interview them, just a thought. If he would have just asked me, he would understand why I am so distraught. "Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell. / I took thee for thy better. Take thy fortune. / Thou find’st to be too busy is some danger." (3.4.32-34). I am very upset, my father was killed in cold blood! It didn't really help that I had no one  left :/ You know cause my brother was in Paris, Hamlet went crazy for some reason and was in England, and my father was killed. 

I didn't know what else to do when my father died unexpectedly. Which by the way he did not bring this upon him Peter, "The fact of the case seems to be that Polonius is only too willing to sacrifice morals to political expediency  and it is his spying, sneaking, and eavesdropping that finally brings about his own death." (Seng, 221). He was doing what the king told him to do. So if anyone is to blame for my fathers death *well it would be Hamlet cause you know he stabbed him* but King Claudius told him to see what was wrong with Hamlet in the first place. Since he died so suddenly, without warning... and by my lover, I just didn't know how to express myself, so I expressed how I felt in song. Through the madness of my ballads, it gave me some clarity. "He is dead and gone, lady, / He is dead and gone. / At his head is a patch of green grass, / And at his feet there is a tomb stone." (4.5.25). That was my only way I could say that my father was dead without completely losing it. It wasn't absolute babble, it was all of my feelings into one little ballad.

And another thing... Though my father and brother weren't supportive of my love, "For Hamlet and the trifling of his favor, / Hold it a fashion and a toy in blood, / A violet in the youth of primy nature, / Forward, not permanent, sweet, not lasting, / The perfume and suppliance of a minute. / No more." (1.3.5-10). That didn't bother me as much because the queen was, "I hoped thou shouldst have been my Hamlet’s wife." (5.1.220). She thought that we could be together, so no I did not see it, "She must have known as well as either of them that Lord Hamlet was a prince out of her stars," (Seng, 218). 

Okay yeah, you sort of get it Mr. Seng, but don't just assume things that aren't your life. Cause you know the old saying about ASSuming things right? So, next time put yourself in my shoes! Jeez, I'm just a teenage girl, we have problems!

Ophelia or by Peter Seng The Deranged Ophelia Xp *what a jerk*

 

  

To be or not to be? (Blog #4)

"To be or not to be? That is the question—" (3.1.57). I heard Hamlet say before I entered the room. Intrigued by his self conversation I listened. What a depressing soliloquy. I don't understand why he would even think of suicide. His life can't be that bad... can it?

"Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer / The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, / Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, / And, by opposing, end them?" (3.1.58-61).  He is debating whether it is worth it to just take all the unfortunate things that life throws at you or just to give up all together. I will agree that life does often have many mishappens and at that moment in time it seems better to end it. But you shouldn't, because NOTHING is worth ending your life. He goes on to say, "For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, / Th' oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, / The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, / The insolence of office, and the spurns / That patient merit of th' unworthy takes, / When he himself might his quietus make / With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear, / To grunt and sweat under a weary life," (3.1.71-78). Yeah these things are annoying, but they are apart of life. You just have to push through it, and not let it get you down.  I know that for certain.

But what I do not really know about is death. During Hamlet's speech he often mentioned the uncertainties about death, and it made me start to wonder as he did. "But that the dread of something after death, / The undiscovered country from whose bourn / No traveler returns, puzzles the will / And makes us rather bear those ills we have / Than fly to others that we know not of?" (3.1.79-83). We don't know what happens after death, and most of us do wonder. What happens? I mean someone dies and they are just gone forever... where does their sole go? Can they come back to contact us? I mean anything is possible... right? Besides not knowing where you go, we don't really know what it is like to die. Hamlet describes that death is sleep and when you sleep you dream but then he said, "To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there’s the rub, / For in that sleep of death what dreams may come / When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, / Must give us pause." (3.1.66-69). 

I believe he is appealing to his emotions (ethos) and his personality (pathos). He pores his heart and sole into this speech, you can feel his emotion come through, he is very depressed and bothered by the everyday routine. Also when he says this he is not putting on another persona, like he does in public, this is the real him.

Since his speech is so dramatic; it is trending on youtube.com. I started watching other people deliver his soliloquy, I must say they are all good in many different ways. But I do have to say that Kenneth Branagh is the best. The setting puts into perspective that his speech reflects how his feelings are, but at the same time other people can finally see how he actually is without him knowing. I also love how he builds up to the end, he starts of kind of quiet then he is really into it by the end. But he gets interrupted by me and hushes once again. When he gives this speech I can really feel the same emotion I felt when Hamlet actually said it; his black clothes give more emphasis to the dark, depressing mood already given by the soliloquy.  He also spoke all of the speech unlike some of the others who had half voice over and half actual talking. This gave more of an emphasis to the character of Hamlet. 

Next was the Laurence Olivier, what I liked about this one was right before he started talking was the winding stairs up the castle to this dangerous cliff. Then the camera angle changed to a first person looking over the edge which really made you think he was actually contemplating killing himself. This was one that did half and half with the voice over and talking, which I didn't really like because it distracted you from the emotion. 

Maybe it is because I do not like Mel Gibson, but this one was my least favorite. But besides the actor, I did not like how the camera kept changing to the coffin, though I understand the reference. It was alluding to Hamlet still being upset with his father's death. But that change in camera angle would break up the soliloquy, and it needs to flow as one whole thought, kind of thing. The setting though was nice, it did add more to his depression, because it was his father's tomb. Along with setting his attire also emphasized on his state of mind (dark colors). 

The last depiction was interesting to say the least. It was a more modern twist on it. It took place in a Blockbuster (which are no longer around), specifically in the action section of the movies. This ties very well into his last line of losing action. He paces through the isle until when he says, "And lose the name of action." (3.1.89) he actually leaves and it emphasizes the line very clearly. What I did not like what he wasn't talking the whole time, then all the sudden he spoke out loud. I would have just made him voice over the whole time. In this case it would help the feeling of emptiness and despair. Also I might change some of the camera angle and focus more on the actor and his facial expressions/ body movements; because in this it should some videos that sort of had to deal with the speech, but at the same time didn't tie in all the way. Last  thing I would change is costume. I didn't have too much of a problem with it, but the clothes should have been darker. 

Ophelia #ToBeOrNotToBe

Depression (Blog #3)

*Sigh* Hey guys..... Sorry for the super depressing blog. But that's just how I feel right now... I have been crying for like hours. :'( I had an encounter with Hamlet today, and it really did not end up well. Hence all of the sad stuff about my blog; like the crying eye (which I actually find really pretty, because I believe there is still beauty in things that are sad), the handwriting style font (it feels like I'm writing my heart out in a diary now), and of course the colors (blues and purples because they are dark and sad).

Let me explain myself and just tell you what happened today. You know how my dad wanted me to spy on Hamlet, well I did that, but I realize I probably shouldn't have. Hamlet went all crazy on me again! He kept telling me, "Get thee to a nunnery." (3.1.120). Why does he think that I need to go to a nunnery? I have done him not wrong, I showed him love, and I was true to him. What has gotten into him to believe that I would ever cheat on him, or any man. Unfortunately, my love meant nothing to him because, I found out that Hamlet.... never.... loved me!!! *cries* :'( He told me ,"You should not have believed me, for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it. I loved you not." (3.1.117-119). I cannot believe I could be so naive. I just don't understand how he could say these things. He was so perfect before! "Oh, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!— / The courtier’s, soldier’s, scholar’s, eye, tongue, sword, / Th' expectancy and rose of the fair state, / The glass of fashion and the mould of form, / Th' observed of all observers, quite, quite down! / And I, of ladies most deject and wretched, / That sucked the honey of his music vows, / Now see that noble and most sovereign reason / Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh; / That unmatched form and feature of blown youth / Blasted with ecstasy. Oh, woe is me, / T' have seen what I have seen, see what I see! " (3.1.150-161). What happened my dear Hamlet? What made you not sane?

This is torturous to me, I do not know what I have done to deserve this. I was once a happy and joyful person, all my positive emotions are fleeing my decaying body. Oh, woe is me.

</3 Ophelia

007 (Blog #2)

Have you guys seen the new Bond movie??? If not, here's the trailer for it below.



You should seriously watch it! It is such a great movie. There is a lot of action and it has got a great story line. Of course, since it is a Bond movie, it is about an MI6 agent (a spy for England) trying to save people's lives yet again. But this time the villain is just a little different. He does not do this for power or for money, he does this for revenge. I do not want to give away too much, so you will just have to watch it. Xp 

But, I love this movie. Bond sort of reminds me of me. In the way of he doesn't fully understand what was going on between M and Raoul Silva. Bond didn't really know the full story of Silva for most of the movie. Just as I do not know what's going on with Hamlet. He came in to my room looking like someone who just escaped from the loony bin, "Lord Hamlet, with his doublet all unbraced; / No hat upon his head; his stockings fouled, / Ungartered, and down-gyvèd to his ankle; / Pale as his shirt; his knees knocking each other; / And with a look so piteous in purport / As if he had been loosèd out of hell" (2.1.78-83). It scared me, I didn't know why he had come into my chambers for. Besides looking like a crazy person, he was acting like one too, "He took me by the wrist and held me hard. / Then goes he to the length of all his arm, / And, with his other hand thus o'er his brow, / He falls to such perusal of my face / As he would draw it. Long stayed he so." (2.1.87-91). He could have done anything to me, but he just held me there for a while, then left. I was thoroughly confused, and very scared.

In the movie Bond looks toward M as a parental figure. He loves her like he would a mother, and would do anything for M. *spoilers* He even holds her while she is dying, how sad. :( I believe that if I am Bond, then my father would be M. I would do anything for my father, and I love him dearly. But I hope that I do not have to see him die. Bond followed her orders right down to the very end. I want to be just as loyal as he was and I have listened to my father thus far, "But as you did command / I did repel his fetters and denied / His access to me." (2.1.108-110) Unfortunately, no matter how loyal Bond is to M, M still feels regret for this loyalty. She feels regret, because following her orders can get Bond into trouble that he didn't necessarily have to get into. I feel like my father feels this same kind of regret with me. I followed his orders to stay away from Hamlet, and Hamlet came to my bedroom all crazy. My father was even sorry for telling me to do what he told me to do, "That hath made him mad. / I am sorry that with better heed and judgment / I had not quoted him. I feared he did but trifle / And meant to wreck thee. But beshrew my jealousy! / By heaven, it is as proper to our age / To cast beyond ourselves in our opinions / As it is common for the younger sort / To lack discretion." (2.1.111-117) he said to me.

My father told the king what his son/nephew had done and devised a plan with him. He told the king, "At such a time I’ll loose my daughter to him. / Be you and I behind an arras then, / Mark the encounter. If he love her not / And be not from his reason fall'n thereon, / Let me be no assistant for a state / But keep a farm and carters." (2.2.154-159). Which basically means that I have to spy on Hamlet, like Bond. I have to be clever, seductive, and devious all at once. Maybe I should watch more movies to perfect Bond's ways of espionage.

Like Bond says, "You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you? What I did tonight was for King and country! You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?"
I must do this for King and country!

♥ Bonde, Ophelia Bonde