Depression (Blog #3)

*Sigh* Hey guys..... Sorry for the super depressing blog. But that's just how I feel right now... I have been crying for like hours. :'( I had an encounter with Hamlet today, and it really did not end up well. Hence all of the sad stuff about my blog; like the crying eye (which I actually find really pretty, because I believe there is still beauty in things that are sad), the handwriting style font (it feels like I'm writing my heart out in a diary now), and of course the colors (blues and purples because they are dark and sad).

Let me explain myself and just tell you what happened today. You know how my dad wanted me to spy on Hamlet, well I did that, but I realize I probably shouldn't have. Hamlet went all crazy on me again! He kept telling me, "Get thee to a nunnery." (3.1.120). Why does he think that I need to go to a nunnery? I have done him not wrong, I showed him love, and I was true to him. What has gotten into him to believe that I would ever cheat on him, or any man. Unfortunately, my love meant nothing to him because, I found out that Hamlet.... never.... loved me!!! *cries* :'( He told me ,"You should not have believed me, for virtue cannot so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of it. I loved you not." (3.1.117-119). I cannot believe I could be so naive. I just don't understand how he could say these things. He was so perfect before! "Oh, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!— / The courtier’s, soldier’s, scholar’s, eye, tongue, sword, / Th' expectancy and rose of the fair state, / The glass of fashion and the mould of form, / Th' observed of all observers, quite, quite down! / And I, of ladies most deject and wretched, / That sucked the honey of his music vows, / Now see that noble and most sovereign reason / Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh; / That unmatched form and feature of blown youth / Blasted with ecstasy. Oh, woe is me, / T' have seen what I have seen, see what I see! " (3.1.150-161). What happened my dear Hamlet? What made you not sane?

This is torturous to me, I do not know what I have done to deserve this. I was once a happy and joyful person, all my positive emotions are fleeing my decaying body. Oh, woe is me.

</3 Ophelia